If there’s a balance to be found between a gritty action-thriller, a sappy father-daughter drama and a lighthearted crime comedy, “3 Days to Kill” fails to find it -- and then some. This absurdly clumsy spy movie comes from mononymous mega-hack McG, and if you want proof of just how ham-fisted a director he is, look no further than his latest film’s staggeringly muddled tone: one minute we’re watching Kevin Costner’s CIA man with a brain tumour Ethan Renner blowing badguys’ faces off and snapping necks, the next we’re watching a cheery montage of him teaching his estranged teenage daughter (Hailee Steinfeld) how to ride a bicycle (!). To say it's tonally confused would be an understatement: don't get me started on the torture scenes played for laughs or the bit where Steinfeld's character is almost gang-raped in a public bathroom.
French action maestro Luc Besson also produces, and there are echoes of his 2008 hit “Taken” heard throughout: its action hero is, after all, a greying CIA dad who marches through the streets of Paris, taking no names and torturing silly-sounding foreigners, and in amongst the punching and shooting there lies a family conflict. The thing is, “3 Days to Kill” can’t decide if it’s the next “Taken” or a parody of it, with its unfunny comedy scenes sticking out like a broken thumb. On three separate occasions, a tense situation is *hilariously* interrupted by an Icona Pop ringtone blaring from Ethan's pocket. It’s not funny the first time; it’s even less funny the second time; by the third time, you begin to yearn for the good old days when McG was directing the “Charlie’s Angels” movies.
The sole saving grace is Costner, though even he seems confused as to who he’s supposed to be playing: Jason Bourne, Bryan Mills or Disney dad Tim Allen. In a career which includes “Waterworld,” a.k.a. that film where he drank his own piss and had gills on his neck, this just might be Costner’s low point -- for crying out loud, he’s being directed by McG. For an action film, “3 Days to Kill” is nowhere near thrilling enough. For a comedy, it’s nowhere near funny enough. For a McG film, it’s exactly as expected; that is to say, it’s vacuous, empty-headed, boring nonsense.
Rating: 3/10
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