Mobster comedy “The Family” might just contain the single biggest plot contrivance since Superman turned back time by flying around the world really fast. It comes halfway through the movie. Teenager Warren, in witness protection in a tiny French village after his ex-mobster family snitched on a Mafia boss, writes for a local competition a joke he once heard told by that same Mafia boss. The joke wins and is printed in the school paper. Soon after, the Mafia boss, stuck in a prison cell on the other side of the world, is handed a wine bottle. By sheer coincidence, this wine bottle was made in the same tiny French village that Warren and his family are hiding in. And wrapped around this wine bottle is, again by sheer coincidence, the same school paper containing the Mafia boss' joke. And what page does the Mafia boss turn to when he opens up the crumpled newspaper? Why of course, he turns to the page with the joke.
It sounds like the kind of tall tale Ray Liotta might’ve told in his narration for “Goodfellas,” only he might’ve sold it a little better. This could have been a deliberate nudge, but I don't think this movie's that smart. Directed by French action maestro Luc Besson, “The Family” is essentially both a parody of and love letter to Scorsese gangster movies, like “Goodfellas” and “Casino,” and Francis Ford Coppola’s “The Godfather” trilogy. Starring in all three of those was Robert De Niro. And wouldn’t you know it, he stars in this too, once again playing a violent mobster type, alongside Michelle Pfeiffer, once again married to the mob.
They play former Mafia couple the Manzonis, renamed the Blakes and relocated with their two teenage kids from Brooklyn to a sleepy, picturesque town by the country in Normandy, France. Supervised by Tommy Lee Jones’ grumpy FBI Agent Stansfield, they live in hiding from the vengeful and incarcerated Don Luchese (Stan Carp) and his cronies, who search for the rats in the hopes of some payback. Advised to keep a low profile, the Blakes try to live a normal, peaceful life in their new European home. But old habits die hard, and soon enough there’s a body in the backyard, the plumber’s beaten to a pulp and the local supermarket is blown to smithereens.
All of which sounds pretty funny, so it’s a shame then that most of the fish-out-of-water gags fall about as flat as a snitch under a steamroller. This, in spite of the knockabout chemistry of the cast, in particular De Niro and Jones, whose quick-fire back-and-forth banter suggests that they might be great in a buddy movie together. Pfeiffer’s lotsa fun, sporting a thick-as-a-brick Brooklyn twang and stealing the show as a Mafioso ice queen with a heart of gold. De Niro’s also fun, but the thing is, he’s already pastiched his tough guy image twice before, first in “Analyse This” and then again in “Meet the Parents” — actually, if you count their sequels, that’s five times. By now, the novelty of De Niro sticking his tongue out at himself has worn off a little (in fact, it may have worn off halfway through “Meet the Fockers”).
Towards the end the film descends into typical Besson action fare, with firefights and rocket launchers galore as the Don, surprise surprise, discovers the Manzonis’ location. But before that, the film makes a big mistake: as a meta joke, it plays for us, and also De Niro, the sound from the opening of “Goodfellas,” with Liotta’s narration taking over and that classic Tony Bennett hit “Rags to Riches” playing over multiple scenes. Here’s a word of advice: if you’re making a gangster movie in the vein of “Goodfellas,” don’t actually show footage from “Goodfellas” — you’re not gonna come out on top.
Rating: 5/10
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