Into the Storm - Review

Director: Steven Quale Writer: John Swetnam Studios: Warner Bros. Pictures, Broken Road Productions, New Line Cinema, Village Roadshow Pictures Cast: Richard Armitage, Sarah Wayne Callies, Matt Walsh, Alycia Debnam-Carey, Arlen Escarpeta Release Date (UK): 20 August, 2014 Certificate: 12A Runtime: 89 min

“Into the Storm” has lots of great big, swirling, town-flattening tornado effects, but not much else going for it. Its characters, who in the small town of Silverton find themselves at the mercy of an unprecedented onslaught of massive-scale whirlwinds, are uninteresting and forgettable, a borenado of empty stereotypes and cliches: there’s a group of unstoppably stubborn storm chasers, a shy teenage boy and his stern, workaholic dad, the shy teenage boy’s love interest with whom he inevitably becomes trapped until dad comes to the rescue, and of course a pair of comic-relief hillbillies. Its script is dumb and without wit or imagination, and it’s never quite risible enough to be enjoyed ironically. As for the shaky-cam, found-footage gimmick, it’s been used for no discernible purpose: director Steven Quale fails to take advantage of it in any way, shape or form, and it’s constantly undermined by random cuts to regular old third-person shots.

Basically, the only thing worth watching in the whole film are those effects, which to their credit are spectacularly destructive -- there’s a great sequence in which a bunch of grounded jumbo jets caught in the path of a gargantuan super tornado are lifted up into the air like dandelion seeds floating away in the breeze (a shot understandably used in all the trailers and TV spots). But giving a hoot about anything other than the VFX, and indeed feeling involved in the story, ultimately proves difficult when our heroes are such dull bores. My advice: if you’re looking for some thrilling tornado mayhem, watch “Twister” instead. It’s not what I’d call a great film, but it has a sense of humour about its own ridiculousness, and its characters and story are much more engaging than what we’re presented with here. Plus, it has Bill Paxton and a flying cow, both always a plus.

Rating: 4/10

Godzilla - Review

Director: Gareth Edwards Writer: Max Borenstein Cast: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ken Watanabe, Elizabeth Olsen, Juliette Binoche, Sally Hawkins, David Strathairn, Bryan Cranston Studios: Warner Bros. Pictures, Legendary Pictures Release Date (UK): May 15 2014 Certificate: 12A Runtime: 123 min

Hey, high-up nuclear science men and women of the world, could you do us all a big favour? If you’re building a brand new, fully functioning nuclear power plant, or dumping a shit-ton of radioactive waste far out in the desert somewhere, could you please make sure that there’s not a giant, radiation-absorbent mega-monster buried in the ground directly below? Y’know, just in case. Cos if the real-life results of that are anything like they are in the new “Godzilla” movie, and those radioactive beasts rise from the depths to stomp mankind out of existence, we’d be in for what can only be described as a fuck-load of truly catastrophic, nay world-ending death and destruction. On the bright side, however, we would be treated with some seriously gorgeous monster vs. monster action to look at from the mounting rubble below. Silver linings and all that.

Oh, and blockbuster filmmakers, could you do us all a big favour too? Could you take a look at what British director Gareth Edwards has done with “Godzilla” and see how it’s really done? Cos in a world where blockbusters have a tendency to be nothing but non-stop monotonous CGI action and explosions, Edwards’ film is a Godzilla-sized breath of fresh air. Here we have a blockbuster that takes its time, that doesn’t reveal its tricks all at once but instead gives them a steadily patient build-up to a roaringly spectacular finale. And here he have a “Godzilla” movie that’s not necessarily about Godzilla himself — here a stunningly rendered CG creation rather than a man in a rubber suit — but rather about human beings reacting to a never-before-seen global crisis (and their utter helplessness in the face of that crisis). In making “Godzilla,” Edwards hasn’t just brought cinema’s greatest kaiju back to the big-screen, he’s also brought a real sense of wonder, awe and anticipation back to the summer blockbuster. And he’s done this by always looking up at the monsters from the perspective of the people down below.

Of course, anyone who saw Edwards’ debut, the shoestring-budgeted 2010 sci-fi “Monsters,” shouldn’t be surprised by this: “Monsters” kept its focus almost entirely on the two human protagonists, a photojournalist and the tourist he travels through an alien-infected quarantine zone with, while keeping the titular creatures lurking in the background. “Godzilla” is much the same, with the protagonists this time Bryan Cranston’s Joe Brody, an emotionally tortured nuclear physicist who watched his wife (Juliette Binoche) die in what the Japanese government claimed was a natural disaster, and Joe’s estranged son Ford (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), a young army man who’s just come home to his loving wife (Elizabeth Olsen) and son. As Joe and Ford become embroiled in a conspiracy involving the re-emergence of prehistoric behemoths, we are presented with glimpses of the gargantuan freaks of nature; glimpses which are brief but nourishingly intriguing.

This is not to say that anyone going into “Godzilla” with expectations of proper, full-on monster action will feel shortchanged: there’s plenty of “disaster porn” carnage featuring the big lizard himself (and big he is, standing at a mighty 350 ft), as well as a pair of “MUTOs,” ferocious, insectoid beasties which eat atom bombs for breakfast — literally (I’m not kidding, they actually pick up armed atom bombs and eat them like they were a radioactive cheerio). But like Spielberg when he made “Jaws,” Edwards understands the power of the slow reveal, and it’s this which makes the properly spectacular San Fran-set climax, where we finally get to see the monsters going at each other, really feel special: that the monsters haven’t already been needlessly over-exposed makes that final brawl all the more rewarding, breathtaking and jaw-slackening. I’ll also note that this grand finale features no less than seven (7!) instances 100% guaranteed to induce spasms of geeky ecstasy: not to spoil anything, but when I saw a certain monster’s tail start to light up, my eyes didst bulge from their sockets.

All the while, Edwards grounds the massive-scale monster action by shooting it from the perspective of the human characters, who, like us sitting in our cinema seats, look up at the towering and clashing super-beasts with an equal mixture of awe and terror. That is, after all, all they can do: Edwards' ultimate point in “Godzilla” is that nature is out of our control, and that sometimes all we can do is stand and watch; sometimes, as Ken Watanabe's monster-expert scientist says, you just have to “let them fight.” I’d loudly proclaim Edwards’ film to be the best King of the Monsters outing since the 1954 original, but frankly, that isn’t saying much: the vast majority of the original’s sequels are cheesy, if not unenjoyable, slug-fests and Roland Emmerich’s infamous 1998 redo (“That’s a lotta fish!”) was a steaming Godzilla turd. But I’ll say this: for its sense of humanity, its graceful beauty and its ability to stun, it gives the ‘54 original a run for its yen, and with an uncommonly firm understanding of pacing and momentum, it’s one of the sturdiest and most satisfying blockbusters in recent memory.

Rating: 9/10

Pompeii - Review

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson Writers: Janet Scott Batchler, Lee Batchler, Michael Robert Johnson Studios: Summit Entertainment, Lionsgate Films Cast: Kit Harington, Emily Browning, Carrie-Anne Moss, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Jessica Lucas, Jared Harris, Kiefer Sutherland Release Date (UK): 30 April, 2014 Certificate: 12A Runtime: 104 min

“Pompeii” is like Paul W.S. Anderson decided to remake “Titanic,” but with the iceberg replaced with a volcano, and Jack and Rose replaced with those floating pieces of furniture they used to cling to safety. Though its setting is ancient Rome, the story is more or less the same as James Cameron’s historical disaster romance: in the famously doomed city of Pompeii, a ruggedly handsome slave-turned-gladiator (Kit Harrington, much better as Jon Snow in “Game of Thrones”) and the beautiful daughter of a rich businessman (Emily Browning) fall in love; this, in spite of their scandalous class difference and the latter’s forced engagement to the wicked and corrupt Senator Corvus (Kiefer Sutherland), who sniffs out their romance and is determined to put an end to it. But little do they know that a dire fate awaits them and the rest of Pompeii, as foretold by the towering Mount Vesuvius grumbling ominously in the background, a warning the citizens laugh off as nothing. The fools!

There’s lots of that kind of nudge-nudge, wink-wink foreshadowing throughout “Pompeii,” as if the film is teasing us that more exciting events are to come. And indeed, once Vesuvius finally blows its fiery load, there’s plenty of apocalyptic destruction on display, with raging fireballs descending onto the city and a thick fog of ash and smoke rampaging through the streets. But the journey to that grand, Emmerichian spectacle is quite the slog, with the story playing out like a boringly typical — albeit drably romantic — swords and sandals flick, and Harrington and Browning sharing all the passion and chemistry of two mating chairs. At least we can be thankful that the good Mr. Anderson opted out of making his film the same epic, three-hour length of Cameron’s blockbuster: if he hadn’t, we surely would’ve all crumbled into a pile of ashes before the volcano had even erupted.

Rating: 4/10